By Serena Blaze
"How To: Pick An Awesome Costume"
October is probably most well known for its holiday, Halloween. Halloween is probably the only holiday you get to be someone or something you’re not. Now, when someone mentions Halloween, you’re going to think “costume”, “scary”, and/or “trick – or – treating”. In the past years, people probably weren’t very afraid of you. Fear not, yours truly, is here to help. Searching through costumes after costumes, I’ve found some creepy ones, some weird ones, and some that doesn’t even deserve to be considered scary, like a peanut. Please don’t force your child to go out being a peanut. Think about how much pain they’ll have to go through the next day. Regardless the peanut, I did manage to narrow down some examples of scary and some not’s for you.
Male
Let’s start with adult males. Clowns. Most kids and some adults fear clowns. If you’re the type of person who wishes to freak out little children, then be a clown. The next one is a phantom. The one in the example is Phantom of the Opera. It might be just me, but that person looks totally hot in that picture. Imagine walking down the street, looking down at the ground, and then bumping into a man. Looking up, you see a tall, dark, and handsome masked man standing there. Dream come true? Maybe not, whisking you away to spend an eternity with a phantom is not cool.
Now you have your two yes’s, it’s time for the no’s. Ghosts are a definite no. The whole sheet over head with eye holes is unoriginal. The nerd costume is kind of self-explanatory. If you choose to be a nerd for Halloween, stay at home. You do not want anyone seeing you. You’ll never be able to go to school again, and seeing how you chose to be a nerd you don’t want that.
Moving onto the children. Okay, Robin and Bob the Builder is over-done and lame. Can he build a hiding place? Let’s hope so. Some people may think that kings aren’t very scary. Trust me, they are. I mean, they do have the power to decapitate you. No biggie right? The reaper is also self-explanatory. The spider webs and make up adds to the spookiness.
Female
Ladies’ time. Peacocks are very scary in my book, seeing how I have a huge fear of birds, but most people aren’t. The feathers do come loose and pretty soon you won’t have any feathers. What’s the point of being a peacock with no feathers? Lady bugs aren’t very scary unless you have ladybugphobia. Fortune tellers and Lolitas are different stories. The dark costumes, hairstyles, and gloomy make up will make people want to avoid you on a dark street.
I know how popular fairies and princesses are to little girls. But sadly, people aren’t scared of them. The queen is just as scary as the king. She’s married to a person who can chop off your head. Oh, bite me for forgetting what the last costume was. I mean, she does look like a thingy, doesn’t she? Imagine coming upon that at night. It’s very spine chilling.
There you have it. What to wear and what not to. And just a quick reminder about trick – or – treating. I might as well tell you how to do it since some people have short term memory. First, do not forget your bag at home. Where else are you going to keep your candy? You go up to the house, ring the doorbell, stick out your bag, “Trick – or Treat”, and remember to say ‘Thank you’. Enjoy yourself.
Remember, The Whisperer is not responsible for any heart attacks, law charges, etc. We are very sorry if anything like that happens. It was YOUR decision to listen to us.